How to help someone struggling with mental health problems

More than 6,000 people die from suicide each year in the UK. It’s a staggering and shocking number, isn’t it, and it’s a fair guess that many people know someone who lost their lives in this way. Sadly, the majority of these deaths are due to people struggling with poor mental health. And with mental health services stretched thin and people being failed around the world when it comes to their mental health? Is there really any light at the end of the tunnel?

For those in the grip of a mental health crisis, the answer probably feels like no, there isn’t. But even though it might be hard to see or something is in the way, the light is always there. This light represents the possibility of recovery, the potential for a better future, and the hope that things can improve.

And if you’re watching a loved one try to navigate this dark space alone or you want to help them reach that light and regain their life back and their mental health, it can be challenging.

Depression and other mental health conditions are all-consuming, and not only for those struggling with it but everyone around them, too.

If you want to be the guide that helps your loved one through this period and is a source of comfort and support, these tips can help you to navigate poor mental health and make things better, not worse.

Pot Judgements Aside

When someone is struggling, the last thing they want or need is your judgment. So before you do anything or try to help, put your judgements aside. This isn’t the time to add to their mental load and make them feel worse. Instead, create a safe space for them to express themselves. Lock away your judgements, approach the situation with an open mind, and be ready to provide support however it’s needed.

Listen

Listening without saying anything at all or injecting any advice is crucial. Sometimes, people don’t want or need other viewpoints or thoughts on things. They simply need to express themselves in a safe space. You can repeat back to them what they tell you to make sure you understand, but if you want to offer support, then listening is key. If they want you to do anything else with the information they share, then let them decide. If not, stay quiet and use your ears, not your mouth. This active listening can make them feel heard and understood, which is a powerful form of support and can help them feel more engaged and connected in the process.

Research Treatment Options

You don’t necessarily have to share this with them, but researching as much as you can in terms of what help and support are available for them can be massively beneficial. And this is where the above point comes into play nicely. If you have listened to them, you will better understand how and where they are struggling and can direct your research to this.

It might be beneficial for some to talk to their doctors to get the meds they need, a new treatment plan, or talking therapy. Or, booking directly with a therapist or psychologist can be beneficial for them.

Or it might be a different approach altogether. As an adult, you might need to find a private healthcare provider for an Autism assessment because sometimes, in childhood, autism can be overlooked, especially if it’s subtle, and as adults, not understanding themselves can be extremely damaging. Getting answers as to why they feel the way they do and help and support if they are on the autism spectrum can turn their life around massively and fill in the missing piece of who they are so they can understand themselves better.

The more you listen and pay attention, the easier it will be to understand what they need and seek out resources such as medical help, charity support, and more to make beneficial and positive changes to their lives.

Know Your Limits

As an outsider looking in and trying to help, you mustn’t overestimate the support you can give. Depending on the person and their struggles, they might require more support and assistance than you can realistically give them. Overstepping these boundaries can lead to burnout, strained relationships, and even worsen the person’s mental health. Knowing this and setting boundaries from scratch can help you both, especially in a relationship that can consume you, meaning you can offer support for longer rather than becoming burnt out because you tried to do it all alone.

You might need a support network, too. For example, if you’re helping your spouse through depression, having your own family and friends you can lean on can help you to help them towards recovery and improved mental health. This could include joining a support group for caregivers, seeking therapy for yourself, or simply having regular check-ins with friends and family to share your experiences and feelings.

Discuss Don’t Force

What this means is that you can discuss things they can do to get support or make themselves feel better, but don’t force them to do it. This can damage what might already be a delicate relationship and tip things over to breaking point completely. Regardless of how frustrating it might be to you, you need to remember that people struggling with mental health need help, support and compassion. Because they’re not being like this because they want to; they simply are dealing with a health condition that is making things unbearable for them, whether they know it or not.

So, by all means, find treatment plans and offer support, help, and suggestions, but discuss them and how they help and then leave it up to the person to decide to move things along.

Even if you are just suggesting they shower and open the curtains, these actions might seem insurmountable for them and can take everything they have to complete. So, appreciating this can help you both find some common ground and not let things become fraught. Respecting their autonomy in decision-making can foster a sense of control and empowerment.

Don’t Diagnose or Second Guess

This is actually really important because it can be tempting to try to diagnose how someone is feeling and put a label on it. But try not to. As mentioned above, it might be they are on the autism spectrum and unaware, and this is impacting their mental health. While you might have your suspicions, don’t diagnose them and try to help them by steering them down the wrong path. Simply offer suggestions as things they can explore that might be valuable and helpful to them.

The same games for second-guessing their feelings. Don’t tell them how they feel or should be feeling. Ask them. Let them share their feelings if they wish, and never interject or make assumptions.

Try Open-ended Questions

Open-ended questions let the person you’re helping with deliver their own answer instead of your direction. You want to use neutral language and give them time to answer for themselves. Instead of saying, “You look down today,” try asking how they are feeling or if they have anything to share with you or want to talk about rather than bombarding them with loaded questions and taking over.

Distraction Free

Helping a person who is struggling with their mental health requires your full attention at that point in time. Try to remove any distractions when you are talking to them or offering help and support. For a person already struggling, you being distracted can make them feel like a burden, or you’re not really there to help, simply snoop. Put your phone away, and don’t go into things thinking you have to leave at a set time or you have other things to do. Dedicate this time, however long it might be, to them solely to give them your undivided attention.

Offer Reassurance

It’s vital that you give reassurance to someone who is struggling. It’s hard to find yourself at a low point, and even if they don’t want help or are refusing it currently, telling them you’re there for them, or they are not a burden, for example, can go a long the way. It won’t be easy for anyone involved; however, for this reassurance, you can be with them and try to help, and reiterating you are happy to offer this support can be something they need and can lean on to move forward.

Keep Them Involved

Poor mental health can be a lonely and desolate time for some, and depending on the health condition they are struggling with, it can impact their ability to stay connected. When helping someone through a poor mental, keeping them involved in usual activities is necessary.

They might and likely will decline, but this acceptance that they won’t probably come and still involving them can be a glimmer of hope and support that you still want them around even if they don’t reciprocate the feelings or accept the offer.

Feature image by Inzmam Khan on Pexels