How to Build a Healthier Relationship With Your Screen

Whether it’s for work, convenience, connection or entertainment, we rely on digital technology. But the prevailing wisdom is that our screen-based lives are not good for us—that our digital devices and apps are addictive and harmful, wrecking attention span, sleep, and more. However, research suggests screen time isn’t actually the driving force behind declines in mental health. Instead, digital technology is one component within an ecosystem of factors.

Nevertheless, it’s clear we could have a better relationships with our screen-based tech. Let’s think about how.

Stop Worrying About Screen “Time”

How much we use our devices isn’t as helpful as thinking about the types of content we’re consuming, the context in which we’re consuming it, and why we’re consuming it. Some researchers suggest we think in terms of a “digital diet.” When we consider our diet, we don’t ask “how much food is too much.” Instead, we look at the range of foods; how they interact with each other; when we’re eating; whether we exercise or not; what we need versus what we want. Similarly, different types of screen time can have different potential effects on our well-being. If used in the right way, our digital devices can offer us numerous situational benefits and conveniences, whereas at the wrong time or circumstance, using them isn’t positive.

Think Screen Habits, Not Addictions

You are not addicted to your smartphone, or to social media. When we fall into this way of thinking, we focus on technology use exclusively in terms of negative effects, and the only solutions focus on abstinence. Instead, research points to a more useful way of framing our technology use—in terms of habit formation—that can offer us more effective tools for making positive change. What does the landscape of our digital technology use look like? What do we enjoy using our phones for? Are we using our screens intentionally, or have we developed more mindless, less fruitful habits? If we shift our thinking toward this more nuanced approach, we can move beyond simple “digital detox” to curate a better experience.

Assess Your Screen Habits

Being more intentional about screen use won’t result in meaningful change if we just do it once. We need to be continually reflective and aware of the digital habits that we’re developing. If we can get better at figuring out why we feel the need to play one more game rather than go to bed, we can often reveal deeper, offline issues at work. The first step in that process is catching yourself in the moment, and regardless of whether those habits that we identify are ultimately good or bad, creating an environment in which we can pick up and assess those habits.

Tweak the Habits That Aren’t Working

Once we’ve spotted unwanted habits, we need to modify our behavior to prevent them from turning into more serious problems. Unfortunately there’s no foolproof evidence base to use here, but we can try to figure out what works for each of us. Part of this involves becoming better at how the technologies we use actually work, including what’s already built into them to help, but it can also be useful to try nudges that might help us in that exercise in reflection. For example, research suggests that Night Shift modes on smartphones don’t actually do anything biologically to support sleep—but setting a time to have an overt shift in the color tone on your screen can be a simple reminder that you might want to start going to sleep soon.

Be Critical of Your Own Tech Use, and What You’re Being Told About It

Research tells us that if we’re repeatedly exposed to an idea, even if we initially don’t believe it, over time we can start to accept it—what’s known as the illusory truth effect. So it’s important to remember that the broader narrative about screens has the potential to influence and color our own beliefs and frames of thinking about their effects in an unproductive way. If we want to be more constructive in changing our technology habits for the better, this means that we need to be more critical and reflective not just about the habits themselves, but what we’re told about their effects. The goal here isn’t to be instantly dismissive of any headlines you read about screens; rather, we need to approach them with a sense of cautious curiosity and evidence-based reasoning. And it’s worth bearing in mind that while some commentators frequently assert that the (negative) effects of smartphones and social media are clear, in reality, the science of screen time has no consensus agreement yet on the effects, positive or negative.

It’s OK to Talk About Your Tech Use

We need to put in a lot more effort when it comes to curating our digital lives. We need to remind ourselves that it’s OK to talk about what we do on our screens. In part because of the narratives that play out in the media, and in part because of the way that we’ve learned to use them, very often we feel a sense of guilt about being on our devices. In turn, it means that we tend to keep what we’re doing to ourselves. But studies have shown that when it comes to experiencing difficulties online, having resilient support networks around us is key to weathering those difficulties. Building those sorts of support networks starts with having more open, honest and nonjudgmental conversations with each other about the experiences that we have on our screens. By sharing what’s working for us, as well as where we don’t feel that we’re doing so well, we start to create a culture where it’s easier to ask for help, share advice, and ultimately learn from each other’s digital experiences. If we can do this, we can start to model better tech habits to those around us, and everyone wins.